Christmas Joy...

Merry Chrsitmas Past....
Its been a hectic, and yet lazy Christmas.
On Wednesday the 21st, my parents came to stay at our apartment. David and I left Thrusday for his parent's house. We spent the weekend, christmas and the early mornign of Boxing day at the Skafte's place. It was fun. On Christmas Eve we went to Aunt Julie's (Dad's sister) and had a big dinner. Then for Christmas day we went over to Aunt Lori's (Mom's sister) and had a great big turkey dinner again. This is our yule log - sad we know... The best part was being able to sit and talk to family. I have been so welcomed into David's family. It's nice to feel that kind of 'like' well 'love'. I got to see Erin (David's cousin). She is so great I'm glad we could have fun, to laugh together. It's nice. Over all it was a very relaxing time. Which was just what we needed. On boxing Day we drove home because my side of the family was having Christmas dinner on boxing day... so it was home for more Turkey.

So Christmas was a bit hectic but great. And just yesterday I was on MSN talking with old firends, whom i haven't heard from in forever, so that was nice, to think back to good ol' times at ABU. sigh. I really miss it, even just the oportunity to chat. If I want to talk to the girls... I can't just go across the hall, down the hall, over to their place anymore. I have to go to a different province... sigh.

but to cheer me up - David is the greatest most understanding person ever, and I love him for it. He is great and I love him. sigh... I'm just a silly girl at heart... swoon.

I'm at Home... and I'm Bored Already...

I'm at home, and I'm ahead of schedule - - sorta - - I've got the spare room pretty much tidied up. I'm going to wait until David gets home so that we can finish it up together. I've got some of the living room cleaned up, and the kitchen still needs a bit of work - but three loads of dishes is enough for now. There is a lot left to do - but i'm goign to stop for now. there is always tomorrow.

Oh as for the kid well he's gone, according to his mom. she told me the last day of classes. I guess she's decided to pull him out of CCA. I'm not as happy as I would have thought. I'm sad cuase when he was a good kid, he was great.... unfortunatly when he was bad... not so much...

Well that's about it. .... Ciao...

It's been a while... Two weeks even...

Have I been so busy that I haven't updated? It can't be, can it?

Well what's been happening.
hmmm last week, what happened... nothign really. the week went as normal. David was working in Stellarton. the kids in class were sorta ok... it's been tough the child with the most trouble adjsuting... ie. the kid well he's on his way out. He's been given his verbal warning - and has till Dec 16th to begin to adjust. You see that sounds cruel for a four year old; however the standard is very high at CCA. everytime I tell the children to put away their pencils, and the kid can't jsut throw a tempertantrum, and cannot scream that he hates school and hates me... this is not behavior that works with CCA. Also I would like to point out that it's been four months, and nothing, I mean hit other students, hitting me, screaming... I like him but there isn't anything more I can do... so to sum it up - the kid is on his way out. There really isn't anything that happened that week... last week. On Saturday there was a baby shower for Berinda and Baby, and then the youth group Christmas party. it was fun. I love the youth group - they are so much fun. I get to be a big kid... I mean there are time i have to be an adult.. but mostly I get to have fun.

I did find out that I had a nasty infection, and no symptoms... so there was some confusion as to where it came from, and how to get rid of it... so we did the medication thing, prayed about it and waited.... and I think it worked... right up until the last few days when everything came back... its so hard, and I think 'hey go talk to your doctor' adn then reality sinks in. By the time I call and get an appointment, the problem will be gone. so now I'm back to my nasal passages being sore and full and pressing on every area of my face, my throat is still rough, and now I have a cough... I think I'll suck it up and call. I just hate Doctors...

This week has gone by so very fast. the fact that today and yesterday are snow days, helped. I've gotten a few things done for Christmas. woot.

Well it's getting to be lunch time, and I have company coming for lunch.

ciao

And I sit on a Thrusday, and watch some TV...

It's thrusday, Yesterday I had a breakdown... cried about work... there is so much Stress, so much i can't Change and I want so badly to change it.

Youth is going well - although there are some days I want to sleep. I love the youth group - i love the youth - they are great - i'm just so tired... and I'm tired ofbe ign sick.

can you friggin show me one other person who has been sick for 3 months, everyday... I just don't want to be sick anymore.. i dion't know what is going on.. I eat pretty healthy, I sleep 6-8 hours a day.. i've prayed for healing, i've talked to doctors, I jsut don't know anymore.

the worst is that I know it bothers David, it hurts him to know i'm sick.... and that breaks my heart. I feel like he's married someone who isn't 'good enough' who isn't whole.... you know?

AHHHH I just want a day to curl up, read a good book, cuddle with my husband, and enjoy a cup of tea. if there is a chance for napping - that'd be a good day!

As for things that are going on...

a while back - David and I went to Moncton to see Janet - and watch a hockey game. We got to see Holly and Justin too!!! It was a great time.

There was a spiritual retreat that I led it went ok.

umm I can't really remember if anything happen more than that...

and now i'm tired - so this is Ciao

for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

So this weekend we went to the Vally - just for one night - but it was so great. to be able to sit and talk with our parents (both sets). I love that they are our friends. its so nice be just be around them.

We also got to see our Brand New Niece. Danelia is beautiful. She's quite and smells so good. I love baby smell.

I'm gonna be a AUNT

First - Woot Woot
Second - it's AUNT - not 'Ant'
Third - Her name is Danelia Karen Skafte.
Forth - She was born at 8:05 pm... and 7 lbs heavy.

Can you imagine 14 hours of labour... ouch.
Sigh Swoon... one day I'll have a baby - I hope sooner than 14 hours.

The three day weekend

Thrusday was a great night...
Friday was theraputic...
Saturday was busy...
And then Sunday came a long...

So much got done, and so little was accopmlished.


We had hoped that Holly and Justin would be able to come and visit... but alas that could not happen. I miss her so much, and I miss Justin too.. don't get me wrong it's just that I lived with Holly, it's a little different.

Where was I - oh yes... the weekend. Since holly and Justin couldn't make it David and I planned on going to the memorial service for rememberance day... and then out to dinner with Mike and Jen.

Saturday we shopped, all mornign - got most of the christmas gifts. It's great to get most of the stuff now not in a rush. Also we got our chirstmas tress... it's great - I want to put it up now.. but i'll have to wait a bit longer - i'm thinking Nov 20th is a good round number.

Today was so busy - Serive, sunday school, meeting, more meeting, and then home... sigh... so busy.

That is it - I know it's not a huge update... but it's an update... ciao

And then there was this...

I love my life... except for all the friggin' curve balls... I didnt' even want to play the freakin' game...

Life is going well. it really is. I have a wonderful husband, I have a job that I love. I have friends and family... i have my health - kinda.

I know it's not the end of the world. but knowing that i have OsteoArthritis that has no cure, that has no positive impact, that will hurt only when i bend my knee. It just kinda bogs me down. I was so ok with knee pain that phsio woudl fix.. but know - nope they took some x-rays, and I have to patches of arthritis, one under my knee cap, and one in the middle of my joint. this means as the years go by, give or take a couple of months... the bones crush the cartilage... cartilage begins to degenerate by flaking or forming tiny crevasses. In advanced cases, there is a total loss of the cartilage cushion between the bones of the joints. Loss of cartilage cushion causes friction between the bones, leading to pain and limitation of joint mobility so umm ouch....


Meh.

I need to post the picture i want to use for my photo

so yeah... here it is - my 'display' photo

Here With David

So i'm sitting at home, just workign on some work - you know how it goes... I have to get ready for report cards... oh how I remember the pain report card days brought. it isn't anything big - oral communication, written work, number recognition etc. but is till have to get everything ready - and mental prep for the parent teacher day that is coming up.

Last week I was up to Moncton - I had to go to a Teachers Convention.. Iwas so excited that I might get a chance to see some of my friends... only it didn't work out so much - but i got to spend some time with my co-workers, which was great. the converence was ok. it was long... but ok.

Sigh... it's monday and I'm so looking forward to friday. it's an in service. I'll be in school, but once the mraking is done i'll be ready for some organizing. the class is in a mess... the last teacher kinda of left nothing... or very little and in such a splattering.. i have yet to find some of the teaching aids.

moving on...

David is doing well. He had a bit of a cold - a stuffy nose mostly, but he's doing ok. Work is going well and being marriend is definatly a good thing for him. ;)

Love ya'll
well I'm off... got to do a few things...

It's been a while...

Thanksgiving...

sigh it’s so friggin hard to have a happy thanksgiving... when there are a billion little things going wrong on so many levels. Well mostly the food level, and the family level... Its not that I don’t enjoy my family.. its just that sometimes – I feel like I’m eight and I’m going to get yelled at... or teased about something... it wasn’t so bad – in fact it was nice to see my family. I miss momma a lot!! A lot more than I thought I would... sigh...

The dinner was ok – the gravy burned – my stupid oven... and how it isn’t consistent... I’ll get over it... after all you aren’t in a relationship to change a person.

We had the dinner on Sunday, because on Monday mom and dad had to leave. Dad had a lot of schoolwork to do. Momma and Dad and mike and Jen (along with Jen’s dad and step-mom) and mark and Sean all were in our apartment. It was nice. We ate, we talked. It was good to laugh with those you love.


Tuesday Following...

Grandma and Grandpa Skafte came for a visit. They stayed just one night. I love hanging out with them, they are so funny –and I hope David and I are just like them when we are so very old. Aha. Oh they took us out to eat on Tue. We had Chinese... I love Chinese.

- -

The Weekend - Oct 16-17

Mom and Dad Skafte came up on the 14th (Friday) for the weekend. It was nice, they took us out for dinner – woot woot – it was nice. We went to Smitty’s and talked. I enjoy so much that David and I are friends with both sets of parents.

On Saturday Mom and Dad went to Moncton to visit Janet – I wished I could’ve gone. I miss her so very much. I wish a lot for her... correction I pray a lot for her... sigh... Sunday came as it usually does after Saturday. We all went to Church; by this time mom and dad were back. And then on to a bus heading for the Rodd Crowbush resort on PEI. We went to celebrate the top sales people (I think that makes sense and is somewhat close to the real title) of Eastlink. David WON an award. He was top in his division. What a great surprise!!! It was great for him. He is such a hard worker, and so dedicated. He’s so good at what he does. It’s good to see him have recognition for what he does.

The next day (Monday) David went to play golf and I went to the spa to have a facial. It was great. And it was nice to relax, and be pampered –I’ve never been pampered before. I think I could do that almost everyday. Anyways, at 4 oclock we headed home. It was a long ride home... and beign car sick on a big bus isn’t a good time.

Over all it was a great weekend. I loved being with David, watching him get that award, seeing the joy on his face.. I loved being with Mom and Dad Skafte, I love getting to know them on the friend ship level. It was just a great tim

So Sick

I have been sick for about a month - first is was a simple old, the kind that you hardly notice, except early in the morning...

And then it moved.

I guess from the litte aches it moved into my neck and back. this is ok.. it's week 2 and colds always get worse before they get better...

And then it moved.

From my back to my nose... how do aches turn into a sinus thing. the runnign nose, the painful pressure, the actual head rush tha thappens from breathing. Noworries... it's week 3 and at some point i'm sure the cold will go away...

I hope.

And then it moved.

It sank actually. from the sinus to my thoat and into my ears. we all know that my tube thingys are not working well, so i guess the cold moved in to help? maybe? ...right... So not being able to hear anyone, or myself. this is normal right? the aching ears? the runny nose (left overs from the sinus trip)? Well my throat, it's sandpaper. Some days i can't talk, some times the voice comes in and out - it's great.

But again it was just week 4, and i'm sur eone day it will get better.

And then it moved.

wait it didnt' move... not at all... it liked the throat... so now it's Week 5... and still the gross sickness... Sigh.. The kids must love the voices I make when I read the stories. aha.

Well I'm off to make dinner for the hubby... hee hee it's still makes me smile to say i have a hubby... hee hee

I, a Teacher, Inspire Minds... David, a Cable Contractor, Numbs Them.

Ah, how true, and funny, an yet not so true, but still so funny. I love my job. I’m wore out at the end of the day, dead by the end of the week... my legs hurt from standing all day, and sometimes I smell of urine. (Yes a child did pee himself, and yes he did need a hug, yes I had to hug him because that is what you do, and yes I thought about the seep-age, so yes I sacrificed my pride and hugged him, and yes it did seep through three layers of clothing...)

Well this past weekend, David and I went to Moncton. It was a great weekend. We got there on Friday night about 7:00 and of course the first place we went to was Holly and Justin’s, Cause we love them. It was so nice just to see them again. It’s so great to have such great friends. We just hung out for a while at there place, and then off to Dairy Queen, cause nothing says yummy like an Ice Cream! Woot, Woot.

From there it was back to my grand parents for a ‘great’ nights sleep on a little tiny pull out couch... and it was cold. We awoke and headed out for a fun packed Saturday. We first went to the Farmer’s Market and shopped at a few yard sales. At noon we headed to the Dormies – oh sigh... such great memories on Dorm, the Field, the Elevator, sigh swoon. It brought back so many memories. Not that I’d been gone that long.

Saturday Afternoon after more Yard Sales, David and I headed over to see Janet and Garret. Still the same. It was so good to see Janet –I really miss her. A lot. And I just hope everything works out in the end... and I just want to see her more you know – I feel like all my good friends are gone, they are far from me, and it’s worse when you finally have a friend who is family, or vise versa. Sigh I’ll get by. Anyways - we all went out to Doc Dylan’s for a late lunch... And it was GREAT – I had Greek salad, and nachos – SO GOOD!
Later in the Afternoon we headed to the school to meet up with H&J again. We had McDonalds for lunch... and than watched some of a concert thingy for a bit... then of course – off to home – cause we have to show Grandparents pictures and what not. Anyways moving on to Sunday – we went to church with H&J etc. And Jamie Nickerson – I love her... - then we went to eat at Chang’s house... a Chinese buffet in Deippe it was GREAT I love it there!! We ate till we all burst. Sigh I love Chinese. anyways after that we dropped off everyone and headed home – I Drove, I’m a great driver... I speed and you can’t really tell except for that little thingy with a needle that says 130 most of the time...aha.that’s it for now – I’m off to go finish my homework – who know kindergarten could be so busy. Ciao

Today and Everyday of Life

So yesterday David and I went to see Ev'y off. I can't believe that in less than 12 ish hours she'll be on her way. Its so sad. I didn't cry when I left her, I managed to hold on to my emotions... Its weird to say goodbye, hoping that maybe it isn't the last time, but really who knows. so much can happen, can change. In the blink of an eye, poof. Life just moves on. Life continues and I'm supposed to just accept it.

Ahh I move on.... And accpet that if I continue that though I might get all weepy again, and then cry... And we don't want that do we?...?...?

today school went well. I'm not feeling so great - my tummy hurts and my throat is sore. Everytime I start to get better... Some child with a cough, or a cold, or a running nose decides that I'd be the best person to give the bugs and germs too... Yeesh.

This weekend David and I are heading up to Moncton... too see everyone - I can't wait - I really miss everyone... I can't wait to see holly... I can't wait to see Brandy... I can't wait to see anyone.

AnywaysI have to go Make dinner for my Hubby, and finish the Laundry:D I like being a wife-y

Ciao

Happy Birthday to Me.. is it Normal to Sing to yourself?

Ahh My Birthday... I'm 24. I'm older, and of course Wiser. Don't laugh. it's true. I'm older and yet nothing has changed - Sigh maybe next year i'll feel like something will click, my bday will be Huge - in my own brain - big like i'll be an adult. One day... sigh. As for my birthday... It's been ok. The kids in class were great. Eveytime anyone of them remembered it was my birthday they all sang - it was So Cute... until the 20th time.. then it got boring... very boring, almost painful. I'll get used to it. Teaching is great. I love just being with the kids. Sometimes there are few that are, well, Special... i.e. can't sit still, can't stop talking, and have no too clues which way is up... I kinda feel for them.. they really jsut don't get it - and it's not that hard.. 1...2...3...4...5 A...B...C I mean really... Sigh. David bought me a Josh Groban DVD... and a beautiful card.. it's so great... and sweet. I love him and tonight he's taking me out - i'm not sure where, but I hope it's chinese. Sigh...Well I'm off I have a ton of Homework.

My First Day of School

SO yesterday I became a teacher - I mean I really taught. I had a classroom, I had students, there were lessons, I hope some children learned something...

I arrived at 7:40, got to my class and started to prepare for the day - I was freaking out... So at the time I was kinda nervous, and after throwing up three times - I was over it. We began by introducing ourselves and then up to a general assembly. It was great - my 4 and 5 year olds were the most well behaved. Through out the say we learned a few things - reviewed the ABCs, counted to 5. Sigh and played most of the day.

I came home and just crashed - I didn't sleep the night before - so I just did nothing - David came home and rubbed my feet - I love him he's great.
Anyways -I know that this isn't' much - but I just need to sit down and relax...

Ciao World

I'm going to be a real live teacher.

Well it's Thursday, and in less than a week I begin teaching 18 K4s and K5s. I'm so excited and yet so nervous.

before I go into that story... I'll tell you about Holly and Justin's Wedding. David and I arrived on Friday afternoon, met up with Brandy, Hailey and Ryan at the church while Holly and Justin practiced where to stand, when to speak. It was nice to catch up... I never really knew or understood just how much I missed my ABU girls... If only Ev'y could have made it. After the rehearsal, there was as per usual a rehearsal dinner. It was a BBQ at Holly's Father's house.
the following day brandy and I went over to where the girls were staying, I helped get some makeup on Holly and her Matron of Honor. It was fun to see all the girls giggling. It reminded me of my bridesmaids. (the biggest difference was that there wasn't any babies when I was getting married). The Ceremony was short and sweet. It was so very Justin and Holly. She was beautiful and I almost cried 3 times, but managed to hold onto my composure. The Pictures were taken at a little park by the water, it was lovely, and of course they ran late which meant that the reception was running late. There were a few glitches - like the Bridal party going missing, but over all it was great!!!!


About this teaching thing... Mostly I'm just getting nervous and freaking out about how inexperienced I feel, and all with good cause - since I've never really done this before.. SIGH... It'll be ok. This week I've got my class set up - I have bulletin boards that are all done up with frogs, and bugs, and a calendar board with the months an days and the weather. There are 18 kids in my class, 8 girls 10 boys, 11 K5 7 K4... and at lunch the K4s head home so the afternoon will be a less intense time.

well gotta get back to working on the curriculum. BORING... But I gotta do it!

Sigh
It'll be ok
I'll just keep saying it out loud and then maybe I'll start to believe it.

Ciao

Sorta another rant... man i need to figure this out... and to have it to start to make sense

I was watching Oprah... I know, I know, get past that – There is a point.The show was called... He just isn’t that in to you... It seemed to make so much sense, and sort of add to my last update. It hit me... too many people are in relationships that they are settling for. Again, adding on to my last update. If you have to change for them, if you are constantly disappointed, if you are hurt, if you are just scared that you won’t find some one else, and you are afraid... then he or she isn’t that into you... you need to step up and step out...

I do believe that most if not all people out there have someone that God has for them, someone that is that in to you... into you because there is this natural, created love. Being in a relationship isn’t’ about getting or even giving... both of those are by-products. Being in a relationship is about bettering and improving your life, with the meshing and bettering and improving of your partner’s life.

I’m tried of everyone talking about how it’s 50/50. Wait! I’m tired of everyone saying that a relationship is 100/100, and then not qualifying it... You have to be yourself, you have to grow and you have to be willing to follow God, once you can do that, and ‘be’ that then you are truly able to love completely someone else. This doesn’t mean that you come first in the relationship it doesn’t mean that your growth out-ways their growth and it certainly doesn’t mean that you don’t help facilitate, encourage or support your partners growth, change, development.

For dating relationships – it’s about seeing if that is the person you really want to marry, could marry, or should marry... It’s about breaking down walls. It’s where really getting to know someone is the most important. If you can’t grow when you’re dating you will smother if you take the relationship further. If you are not committed to the relationship (not that person; committed to the person is marriage...not dating... Does that make sense... is that harsh??) and your self in that commitment then you should take a step back, find yourself again... maybe you need more growing maybe you to truly be only independent on God before you can be co-dependant.

Its so weird... Words are throwing themselves to the front of my brain... like Sharing. Sharing is huge... can you share yourself with another person... the you that has grown, that is following God... are you sharing your partners whole being in their growth. I know at least two women (women in this case but it is certainly not a chick issue) who are in relationships with men who are not sharing themselves... who aren’t being real and who aren’t ‘loving their women enough’. You shouldn’t have to change for them; you shouldn’t have to settle to gain love, respect, and honor. Is the person you are with honoring you? Or a more difficult question... are you someone who deserves honor?

I’m not sure where I’m going... what I’m trying to say... I’m still working on the growing as Shannon. I’m learning to Grow with David, and It hard... no one said it was easy... but hard isn’t bad, it isn’t negative... it’s great. Some day’s not so great... but I would never trade it for anything. I love so much that I can be me, that David can be himself; we can love each other completely, with a God like love.

The words are just there... the making sense part is still being worked on

There are a lot of things just floating in my mind. Last night David and I were doing our devotions and there was this great quote... about love, but more about what real love is about. I have been trying to find the words to express the thoughts that I’ve been thinking – and this quote seems to spark something in my head...

“Real romantic love has an organizing and constructive effect on our personalities. It brings out the best in us, giving us the will to improve ourselves and to reach for a greater maturity and responsibility. This love enables us to begin to function at our highest level.”

It is not simply to be in love, and that is the end of it. When you are in love there is a change, a chance, and growth. However so many people just want to be in love and hold still. To avoid the growth, to not be challenged. They want to simply enjoy the euphoric haze, but not the rest, not the changes, the challenges. ‘Being in love’ and staying in that moment, that pausing of life leads to nothingness. From ‘being in love’ to simply loving someone. I have seen so many relationships that fizzle because the people love each other but are no longer in love... I truly believe that ‘being in love’ is the glue of a relationship... it’s the googily eyes, the sighing the stares and the giggles. But more than the sweet stuff it’s the wanting to be better for that person, growing into the relationship. It’s about being constructive, improving oneself, and growing to a greater maturity. Loving the other is important, but heck you love your brothers, and/or sisters... I would wager to say that if you were ‘in love’ with them that would be a bit creepy, and gross. Loving someone isn’t enough to really hold together a relationship... not in a romantic way. I believe that it can be done, that you can simply love and care for someone and not truly ‘be in love’ with that person – however I would never wish that relationship on anyone.

It’s more than all that too... or it’s different again you could say. You see being with someone should never mean lowering yourself. I was talking with Mom Skafte about life and love this weekend, and with Ev’y’s mom last Wednesday about love and life and some people we know; and it seems that these people we know of, or rather feel for, that seem to think that it’s ok to just lower all your standards, to simply lay down and get trampled on, and lied to, and manipulated, and this is ok. This is fine because ‘at least I have someone who loves me’. They think that being loved by someone is better than being true to them selves. It’s so scary for me to watch as people I love get hurt, and think that this is how it’s supposed to be...

Is it really love when the other person lies, manipulates, hurts, and lays down the guilt trip. Is it really love when neither party is growing, is being a better person, is it love when the truth is never real? Is it really love? Can the ‘greatness’ can the ‘love’ out way the hurts, the lowering of yourself, your goals, and your standards?

What do you say to someone who just seems to scream that everything is going wrong... and yet they don’t want to get out – because they love someone so much... with out the growth without the changes the challenges. It’s so weird to see so many people who just aren’t interested in what God can provide... Loving David is easy, God has given me this love... and Being in Love with David is Easy because he doesn’t hold me back from the person God is creating my to be. There is the sappy stuff but there is the concrete stuff. And neither out ways the other.
I know that was the longest Ramble, blather, and blabber... about something so big... it’s just I’m still trying to gather my thoughts into some sort of sensible thing. It isn’t finished – it’s a work in progress... Forgive me for the thoughts that may not make sense – again I’m still working on it.

Does This Make Sense?

I’m still so unsure of myself. I am not so sure I can do this – it’s just so hard to get the idea into my brain that maybe I could do this... I suppose people think that I’m pretty self-assured. But I really don’t think I am. There are a few situations that I’m just so unsure of. Like when I made dinner for grandma and grandpa Skafte.... The whole night I just felt like I had to apologize... and I barely realized that I was doing it... I just couldn’t imagine how horrid the meal could have been, and I didn’t want to offend anyone, you know... it is so weird. It’s not all the time, but in some ways I’m completely unsure of myself... sigh. Maybe that will change in time.

So the sleeping aspect of my life is so weird, I can’t seem to sleep and I’m just feeling so off lately. I’m not sleepy anymore, at least not at night, and I’m so tired in the morning. I want so badly to just sleep for 8 hours again. Sigh. Also there are other moments that are just worrying me, if worry isn’t too strong of a word. For the past month every time I eat anything I get this queasy feeling, and I just need to lay down and just let the feeling pass... It’s just so disheartening. I hate to feel so out of it. I know that it has a lot to do with my mental state. I’m so bored; I’m so tired of the same old. I do so much of the little things and nothing big, I have become used to ‘slacking off’ And when I start the job I’m going to have no time to do the little things that I like to do, or that I have to do.
I think that some of the reasons I’m not feeling so great, and maybe a little swamped with the nothingness... I have such random things floating in my brain... Get a Job
Do good at this Job
Stop slacking
Pay back the student loan
Stop the daydreaming
Help with the family income
Write poetry again
Play house
Cook dinner
Paint more
Clean the Apartment
Do the laundry
Read more books
You see it’s the little things that make me feel, under pressure, squeezed... its such a weird feeling since most of the things that are there aren’t big deal things... it’s so weird... sigh... I’m just in a odd place...

One night a few nights ago, David and I went for a walk, and just talked – and it was so nice to be out of the house, and walking. It was so great to talk. I tried to explain this to him. It went well I think he understands where I’m am – and how I don’t’ really get what is going on... about how life is just changing. Not that I’m ever great with change, but it’s happening so fast and so suddenly... and I’m not sure of how I’m handling it. I’ve been praying about this and I think that it’s not a spiritual thing, not some battle; it’s just how I’m dealing with this... trials that bring perseverance, which in turn leads to character...

Its just so odd, you know... I just can’t explain it. I’m not in a sad place, I’m not super happy, parts of my life are great and I’m overjoyed, and other parts are just there, inside my head, not really actively affecting my life, but in some ways completely affecting my life... sigh
What to do, what to do...

I Got A Job

WOOT WOOT WOOT

you read it right I'm Employed...
I have to give my offical yes, and get my police checks done..
but after that..

I"m a Kindergarten teacher.

Woot Woot Woot


it's a nice job, I never thought i'd be doing it...
but I guess God had other plans for me this coming year.

Back to School it is!

Sigh Life....

So I’m writing this blog, this entry, and/or this post? And I’m all l sort of just really feeling worn out – I’m feeling like I need to take a break. And like the last post I wrote that didn’t work because of some stupid mistake I made so the thingy wouldn’t post. Friday was date night. I made David dinner, and gave him a sappy gift. Nothing exciting, just something kinda sweet... The gift was a box full of candies, and little pieces of papers (250 in total) that had words that reminded me of him, of ways I thought about him, characteristics he had. He said he liked it, and that it was so great that I would take the time to make it. I thought it was cute, and something he’d enjoy. Well for dinner, first, the table was set all romantic like, candles and fancy stuff. We started off the evening with a cheese platter and this French like bread; it’s like a big baguette. Moving on, after some cheese and bread we had a nice batch of bruschetta. I love making it because it’s so simple, and this time we had black olives.... yummy. From that we moved on to the salad. Jeepers there was so much food. So much stuff that we had yet to eat. Well the main course was Chicken Broccoli Alfredo Pasta, and we both so full we barely had room for it. Dinner was done and we stacked the dishes, man there was a lot of dishes. But we decided to leave them. And went to get the movie Spanglish.... Great Movie! It was so great and sappy and what not so it fit the night. We watched the movie and ate Cheese Cake - Frig I love cheesecake. I could have eaten the whole thing by myself. But I didn’t, I shared. The rest of the evening, well I won’t be sharing that part of the night... martial bliss, sigh. And to quickly move on.... Grandma and Grandpa Skafte came for a visit this weekend. They were traveling through to Maine and stopped in as a place to crash. It was nice to have them here. I really enjoy their company. And I love seeing David with his family, he is so sure of himself, so confident, so willing to listen to the stories, to talk about life. He’s so relaxed. David is like that with me, but not with me and other people, it’s nice to see that side of him. G&G Skafte drove up from the valley in time for church, and afterwards we came home, sat and chatted while I got lunch ready. We had simple sandwiches, which was nice. Then the afternoon we just sat around and chatted more. I took a nap because I haven’t been sleeping. It was a great time. For dinner I made beef pot roast, noodles and sauce, and fried spiced zucchini. They all seemed to enjoy it. and David and Grandma Skafte did the dished. I loved that!! So that was yesterday, there isn’t much really else to say about the weekend.
I have my second interview with the CCA - Colchester Christian Academy – on Tuesday. It could be a great job? But I’m just not sure if I can do it? Or heck what they want from me... So when I go for this interview I have to remember to ask the right questions, and hopefully get answers that I can use. This is also the interview that includes a member of the Board of Governors... and they ask the deeper questions... IE do you speak in tongues... and if I do, they just shut down the interview, and it’s over... that is it – I’m done... so I guess it’s a good thing I have (yet) to speak in tongues?? Hmmp it’s interesting, I never really had any kind of conversations with the legalistic fundamentalists, so this should be great.

Today and everyday

Well I wrote this really long post... about life, and needing time to really just rest... and not pretend... and about working on theradoi - but not yet... and maybe getting the kindergarten job...

but then it got erased because something happened...

sigh
oh well

Moving on - moving up?

Since I am in between LJ and Bloggin I’m going to be postin gin both places..

www.livejournal.com/~shannonjoy

www.shannonjoy.blogspot.com

I went for the interview at CCA (Colchester Christian Academy )...it went ok I talked a lot - cause i was really, really nervous. I'm nervous for a lot of reasons, I'm not sure if this is something that I can do? I would like it - but want and can are different. It seemed to go well, I think it was positive. At the end of the interview Mr. VanderKwaak handed me a DVD teacher’s guide. So I’m not sure how many of these things they have to hand out – but I’m taking it as a positive. Who knows? I’m really very unsure of myself. See I don’t have a ton of experience – but I was very, very clear at the interview, I didn’t try to hide it. I just don’t know, you know?

I’m still looking for a Job that just jumps out at me – just in case I don’t get this one. But heck any job would be good. I’d love to just to help out with the Debt I brang into this marriage (I know it’s brought) but brang is such a great word.
This Friday I'm planning a huge Date night for us. I want some spice in our life... I'm cooking a four-course meal, and then romantic 'stuff' but it'll be great. I can't wait to cook for him this huge, huge meal.... Shh Don't tell David I’m not telling him, it's a surprise.

It’s weird because I’m sure that there is more to write about, and say but really I have nothing – it’s like the farther from graduation date my mind gets the less I have to say... well maybe it’s the less I want to write... I haven't written anything, not a poem nothing... sigh I miss it. I wish I could in good conscious just take three days to sit and paint and write... and just be me. Oh well that’s it for now maybe more later... who knows...

My First

I think this is pretty ok. I could learn to like this... Hmm
Yes I do think I enjoy this.