The words are just there... the making sense part is still being worked on

There are a lot of things just floating in my mind. Last night David and I were doing our devotions and there was this great quote... about love, but more about what real love is about. I have been trying to find the words to express the thoughts that I’ve been thinking – and this quote seems to spark something in my head...

“Real romantic love has an organizing and constructive effect on our personalities. It brings out the best in us, giving us the will to improve ourselves and to reach for a greater maturity and responsibility. This love enables us to begin to function at our highest level.”

It is not simply to be in love, and that is the end of it. When you are in love there is a change, a chance, and growth. However so many people just want to be in love and hold still. To avoid the growth, to not be challenged. They want to simply enjoy the euphoric haze, but not the rest, not the changes, the challenges. ‘Being in love’ and staying in that moment, that pausing of life leads to nothingness. From ‘being in love’ to simply loving someone. I have seen so many relationships that fizzle because the people love each other but are no longer in love... I truly believe that ‘being in love’ is the glue of a relationship... it’s the googily eyes, the sighing the stares and the giggles. But more than the sweet stuff it’s the wanting to be better for that person, growing into the relationship. It’s about being constructive, improving oneself, and growing to a greater maturity. Loving the other is important, but heck you love your brothers, and/or sisters... I would wager to say that if you were ‘in love’ with them that would be a bit creepy, and gross. Loving someone isn’t enough to really hold together a relationship... not in a romantic way. I believe that it can be done, that you can simply love and care for someone and not truly ‘be in love’ with that person – however I would never wish that relationship on anyone.

It’s more than all that too... or it’s different again you could say. You see being with someone should never mean lowering yourself. I was talking with Mom Skafte about life and love this weekend, and with Ev’y’s mom last Wednesday about love and life and some people we know; and it seems that these people we know of, or rather feel for, that seem to think that it’s ok to just lower all your standards, to simply lay down and get trampled on, and lied to, and manipulated, and this is ok. This is fine because ‘at least I have someone who loves me’. They think that being loved by someone is better than being true to them selves. It’s so scary for me to watch as people I love get hurt, and think that this is how it’s supposed to be...

Is it really love when the other person lies, manipulates, hurts, and lays down the guilt trip. Is it really love when neither party is growing, is being a better person, is it love when the truth is never real? Is it really love? Can the ‘greatness’ can the ‘love’ out way the hurts, the lowering of yourself, your goals, and your standards?

What do you say to someone who just seems to scream that everything is going wrong... and yet they don’t want to get out – because they love someone so much... with out the growth without the changes the challenges. It’s so weird to see so many people who just aren’t interested in what God can provide... Loving David is easy, God has given me this love... and Being in Love with David is Easy because he doesn’t hold me back from the person God is creating my to be. There is the sappy stuff but there is the concrete stuff. And neither out ways the other.
I know that was the longest Ramble, blather, and blabber... about something so big... it’s just I’m still trying to gather my thoughts into some sort of sensible thing. It isn’t finished – it’s a work in progress... Forgive me for the thoughts that may not make sense – again I’m still working on it.